Sword & Sorcery Archie style! Who knew? I was never a fan of Archie Comics, though like anyone in the 1970s and 1980s I read my share. You can be sure I never spent any of my hard-earned quarters on them. Here’s one I might have bought had I known, Everything’s Archie #93, June 1981. As a player of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, this one-off story would have appealed to me.
The story was written by George Gladir. The artwork was done by Bob Bolling and Jon D’Agostino. The story opens like an episode of Stranger Things….
Archie goes to bed wishing he could have finished his quest for the magic ring. He has a dream… Mr. Lodge is a king. The dastardly Sir Reginald has kidnapped his daughter, Veronica. Archie the Adventurer offers to rescue her.
Reginald’s lair is guarded by winged warriors. Archie reaches into his bag and finds old pizza crusts to use as a weapon.
He is off to storm the castle… Where he finds beautiful girls waiting. Except they aren’t girls!
The gnomes chain Archie to the wall. Sir Reginald baits him and laughs at Archie’s promise to get even. Reginald has the magic ring and is invulnerable. Reginald tortures Archie by making him watch bad television commercials on a crystal ball. “For fantastic deals in used chariots, come to Drood the Druid!”
What They Got Right
– They actually called it Dragons and Dungeons, an obvious inversion of the name.
– Jughead appears to be yawning in the opening frame. Doyle looks beat too. Archie’s mom says they have been playing since morning. AD&D games were long! (We would play through the night, not play all day.)
– They included some melee, with Archie using a +3 Pizza Crust. Critical hit with cheese!
– Archie carries around his stuff in a sack. The standard dungeoneer has many items in his kit.
– The girls were actually gnomes. Thing are often not what they seem in AD&D.
– The story is filled with dumb jokes. Some dungeons or DMs can go this way too. Everyone has their own style of play.
What They Got Wrong
– The opening frame shows dice and a few pieces of paper. What is missing in the stacks of expensive manuals, both the DM’s and the players. Also no figures. And where are the snacks?
– Archie is an “adventurer” which I suppose is a fighter class. He needed some allies, like a dwarf, an elf and a thief.
– Veronica is wearing a cloak. Standard outfit for a magic-user. Veronica doesn’t appear to have any magic.
-There are so many things they left out (due to space more than anything). Where are the wandering monsters, the dungeon traps, the boss fights? Archie doesn’t beat Sir Reginald. The dream just ends so he can live his pathetic, ordinary, dull life. Thank goodness for RPGs!
Conclusion
The popularity of Stranger Things has blunted the critical knives of the 1980s. (Remember Tom Hanks in Mazes & Monsters?) We played AD&D but we would never have bragged about it. It was instant nerd death. The nostalgia for the game today, a well as a resurgence in popularity especially for old school D&D, could fool younger folks into thinking otherwise. I guess I’m not surprised that Archie Comics would show Archie and his friends playing an RPG. The comics were filled with TSR ads like this one from Secrets of the Haunted House #39:
I had no idea! Of course I didn’t read Archie comics then or now for that matter so…
I actually enjoyed the Archie comics since 1976; but I missed this one…